Andy: I just told you I saw your sister dead and you're
relieved?
Phoebe: Andy, its uh, no secret we fought at times.
Piper: Why are you being so stubborn about this?
Phoebe: Because I am a Scorpio. What's your excuse?
Phoebe: Piper it was an accident. It's not like I borrowed
Prue's car so I would drive it into a pole.
Phoebe: (They hear a noise) What was that?
Prue: Ah, probably a zombie or vampire.
Phoebe: Great, where's Buffy when you need her?
Little Phoebe: Stay away from me or I'll sick Prue on you.
Piper: Oh yea don't go there.
Piper: Come on Phoebe, trolls and fairies? You don't believe
that stuff.
Phoebe: Sure why not?
Piper: Well, maybe it's time we tell her about Santa.
Leo: Piper, he's gonna kill me when he finds out.
Piper: Don't be ridiculous, you're already dead.
Piper: We have to find a way of hiding the rutabaga.
Prue: The rutabaga?
Piper: It's a code word for the thing we're not supposed
to talk about.
Prue: Oh, the rutabaga.
Piper: We went, we saw, we didn't quite conquer.
Piper: (after Prue gets turned into a dog) She's such a
pretty dog.
Phoebe: What else did you expect?
Leo: A doberman.
Prue: errrrrrr
Leo: Because nobody knows where it is. It's location has
been kept a secret even from the Elders.
Paige: Where was their infinite wisdom on the day that
was decided.
Leo: As your whitelighter, I'd say to go with your instincts
Paige: Ok
Leo: But as your brother-in-law, going up against your
sisters would be pure suicide.
Paige: Great. You've really helped clarify the issue.
Krell: I am Krell a Zotar.
Prue: Hi, I am Prue, a Scorpio. Where's Belthazor?
Prue: I am so impressed that you can make a protest statement
and show cleavage all at the same time.
Prue: Look, Andy will you please just get Piper out of
here.
Andy: Prue, I'm not leaving the two of you alone.
Prue: Do I have to use my powers on you?
Andy: I'll meet you up on the street.
Phoebe: Look at me. I am a fashion blunder. A mademoiselle
don't. OMG, you lost your powers?
Prue: Can't lose what you never had.
(Prue astral projects out of the room)
Phoebe: I hate when she plays astral games. Marco.
Prue: ( from the attic) Polo.
Piper: You met a guy?
Prue: mm-hmm.
Piper: As a dog?
Prue: mm-hmm.
Piper: How?
Prue: Well he ran me over.
Piper: I think you got flees.
Prue: You know that is sooo not funny, cause I think I
do!
Andy: Prue, if you were in my shoes, what would you think?
Prue: First of all, nobody should be in those shoes.
Paige: My boobs are in the way, can you put it into third
for me?
Phoebe: Paige, you want to come with us?
Paige: Sorry, I have to go to that evil place where they
keep my payeckeck.
Paige: (to the unicorn) Well your Spanish, Andale.
(Piper walks into the living room to see Paige and Phoebe
wearing beauty masks)
Piper: Ah!
Phoebe: What?
Piper: OMG. You two could scare the hair off a cat. No
demons dare drop by here.
Phoebe: Go to he**.
Cole: We're already there.
Piper: I'm being stalked by physco killers and I hide in
the shower.
Cole: Sam?
Leo: Their whitelighter.
Cole: Oh I see apples don't fall far from the forbidden
tree.
Piper: SSSSSShhhhhh!!
Cole: Stand up!
Phoebe: Ooooo
Paige: Hey Phoebe, have you finished that van--Wow full
frontal Phoebe!
(Phoebe flashes colors.)
Cole: She flashed.
Paige: Yeah I got that!
Cole: No, black and white.
(Morris extends his arms to touch Piper's belly.)
Morris: Hey, if you ask me, there's nothing more beautiful
than a preg...
Piper: Do it, and you'll pull back a bloody stub.
( Morris pulls back his arm.)
Paige: She's a litle sensitive right now.
Morris: I can see that.
Piper: Well, apparently we've got our clothes to lose.
Phoebe: I see that. (Phoebe is taking off her clothes)
Piper: No..Whoa, whoa. Wait. What are you doing?
Phoebe: When in Rome.
Piper: No.No.No. We're not in Rome, Phoebe. We're in California
and it's illegal here.
Piper: How about next time I just freeze your head and
then maybe I could kick you in the-
Prue: Ok!
Piper: Hey! B***h! Move the trays yourself.
Leo: Piper, this is completely illegal.
Piper: Yeah? Well, so is marrying a dead guy, okay? (She
holds up the death certificate) Let's not get technical now.
Little Prue: Your pretty.
Prue: Oh, your pretty to.
Piper: oh please.
Prue: So you can slice off a chunk of demon flesh but you
can't touch a pig's foot?
Piper: I am a vegetarian.
Prue: Since when?
Piper: Since now...
(Cooking pot bursts into flames)
Prue: Ooh...
Piper: Poor piggy.
( Piper blows up the chair.Cushion stuffing flies everywhere.
Cole goes over to it.)
Phoebe: Piper, I think that was Paige's chair.
Piper: Yeah, I know it was ugly.
Piper: Mm-hmm. Your destiny still awaits, she says. There's
a reason for everything, she says. So, now it's time to summon her transparent butt back and ask exactly what the reason is.
Piper: Lets get this straight, you guys summoned me to
a cage where my powers don't work, so we can die together!
Paige: Well, the plan has some flaws admittedly.
Paige: Ok, what the he** was that?
Piper: I don't know...maybe my baby thought fireworks would
be prettier than demon guts.
Phoebe: What about water birth? Can we do that at home?
Eva: Sure, we can rent a tub.
Piper: What am I? A dolphin? I'm not giving birth to fish.
Leo: Well, actually, dolphins aren't fish. They're mammals.
Piper: Shut up.
Piper: Heads up! Pregnant lady coming through with groceries.
Here we go, people.
Phoebe: What's wrong with Piper?
Leo: Oh, they gave her paper instead of plastic.
Piper: Baby book, my baby book. Oh, look how squishy I
was.
Phoebe: I slept with...my boss
Piper: Jason?
Phoebe: No, Elise. of course Jason!
Phoebe: I could just eat him up. I swear I could... with
a little ranch dressing.
Piper: Okay, but let's not. okay?
Phoebe: I can't make that promise.
Leo: Okay, don't listen to your aunties, okay? They're
a little kooky. Us guys should stick together, don't we, Peter?
Piper: Peter?
Leo: Peter. I'm just floating it.
Phoebe: (to Wyatt) I could eat you. Yes I could. Yes I
could.
Piper: Pheebs, after the demonic parasites that did actually
kinda want to eat him... not so cute.
Phoebe: Gotcha. ( to Wyatt) Oh, I could smush you. I could
smush your little face.
Piper: Much better.
Paige: Chain-mail top, from my club days. Steel toed boots,
from my mosh pit days. Handcuffs...from last Friday.
Paige: My sweater shrunk.
Piper: Ah, come on, you've worn lighter things than that.
Paige: Okay, is that normal?
Leo: I am sure that it's just all this arguing has got
the baby upset.
Piper: Leo, the baby is an inch long. All this arguing
is upsetting the mommy.
Phoebe: Flying's awesome, it's the landing part thats a
b***h.
Piper: The plan is to vanquish the demon.
Cole: Great, any chance you've mastered your powers or
are you still freezing and exploding at random?
Piper: Random, but you know what they say, there's nothing
like field practice.
Phoebe: Be very, very quiet. We're hunting demons.
Prue: Leo, nice orbs!
Mark: Aren't you scared?
Piper: Terrified. Trust me, that's a good thing.
Piper: (To Leo) Phoebe! Work? No no no. She's probably
at her gay and lesbian group right now.
Piper: Wanna tell me again exactly how screwed we are.
Prue: Pretty screwed
Piper: Thanks
Phoebe: (To Leo) If your nose was any closer to that coffee
you would need a snorkle.
Piper: Hey, I have a great idea. Why don't I make a fabulous
reunion dinner?
Prue: I'm not hungry.
Phoebe: I ate on the bus.
Piper: Okay, we'll try the group hug later.
Phoebe: I forgot your question.
Piper: I asked if Prue would have sex with someone other
than herself this year.
Phoebe: That's disgusting. (to Ouji board) Please say yes.
Prue: Don't you think your overreacting? We are perfectly
safe here.
Piper: Don't say that. In horror movies the person who
says that is always the next to die.
Piper: Nothing happened, right, Phoebe. when you said the
incantation?
Phoebe: Well, my head spun around and I vomited split pea
soup.
Phoebe: I never went to sleep.
Piper: Don't tell me you put on a black conical hat and
spent the night flying around the neighborhood on a broomstick.
Phoebe: According to the Book of Shadows, one of our ancestors
was a witch named Melinda Warren.
PIper: And we have a cousin who is a drunk, an aunt who's
manic, and a father who's invisible.
Roger: You look surprised.
Prue: I don't know why; I'm furious.
Roger: Prue, think about this.
Prue: Lousy job, lousy pay, lousy boss. What's to think
about?
Prue; I thought breaking up with you was the best thing
I'd ever done, but this definetly tops that,
Roger: I hope there are no office supplies in your purse.
Prue; Phoebe, I do not have special powers. Now where's
the cream?
(The cream moves itself from the bar)
Phoebe: Really? That looks pretty special to me.
Phoebe: You know, I'm not afraid of our powers, I mean
everyone inherits something from their family, right?
Prue: Yeah, money, antiques, a strong dispostion-That's
what normal people inherit.
Phoebe: Who want's to be normal when we can be special?
Prue: I want to be normal.
Piper: Open your fortune cookie.
Jeremy: Okay (reads the fortune) "Soon you will be on top."
Piper: it doesn't say that.
Jeremy: Yes, it does.
Piper: Let me see.
Jeremy: Is that a bad thing?
Piper: (reads his fortune) " Of the world." " Soon you
will be on top of the world."
Piper: Prue's right, what are we gonna do?
Phoebe: What can't we do?
Prue: We are going to be careful, we are going to be wise,
and we are going to stick together.
Piper: This should be interesting.
Piper: By the way, um, Andy called.
Prue: When?
Piper: While you were in the shower.
Prue: What did you tell him?
Piper: That you were in the shower. Bad date?
Prue: No, No, no. Not at all. Uh, it was great. You
know, dinner movie...sex.
Piper: Excuse me? On your first date? You sleaze.
Prue: It wasn't exactly our first date, Piper.
Piper: Highschool doesn't count. That was last decade.
Piper: Don't put me in the middle.
Prue: I'm not. You were born in the middle.
Piper: I'm good!
Prue: So we're agreed 20 minutes?
PIper: Prue, you can't do a party in 20 minutes.
Prue: Watch me.
Phoebe: Prue's party tips: meet, greet, and bail.
Prue: I'm sorry, but some of us have a job.
Phoebe: And some of us have fun.
Piper: And some of us are having a really bad hair day.
Phoebe: So what should we do?
Prue: Well, either we can rely on our viscious guardcat
to protect us, or we could remember to lock the doors.
Piper: Wait a sec. Last week we had no dad, and now we
have two?
Piper: Are you out of your mind again?
Phoebe: No, I'm the Amazing Phoebe.
Piper: This isn't funny. Our powers are supposed to be
a secret, not a marketable job skill.
Piper: (talking about Prue) 9 o'clock and the dates over?
How Disney of you.
Leo: Maybe she can bring some of her fairy friends?
Piper: Mom
Prue: I don't think you can count mom.
Caterer: You can if she's going to eat.
Prue: Trust me, she won't eat.
Prue: Why is Phoebe going to school without her books?
Piper: Why is Prue not answering Piper's question?
Piper: Leo, what did you find out?
Leo: Nothng!
Phoebe: Ok, now we're screwed.
Leo: Piper?
Piper: I'm in here somehow.
Leo: Your sister is blinking!
Piper: Huh, I should care about that but i don't!
Phoebe: Think of the time we could save not chanting.
Phoebe: I can't wreak havoc dressed like this.
Phoebe: Oh, yea, Leo - sorry we killed you!
Prue: Innocents and alleys, don't they ever learn?
Piper: You know, if I could freeze the two of you I would
- often!
Phoebe: I hope this doesn't affect my virginity.
Piper: If I die before my wedding, I am gonna be really
mad at you two!
Piper: I hate this crappy freezing power.
Prue: Alright, and people think this is entertainment?
Prue: I'm gonna win this fight and save your a**, that
way I can kick it myself later.
Piper: Anything to get rid of her.
Phoebe: You mean him?
Piper: Nah, I mean her.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, what?
Piper: She doesn't like our clothes.
Natalie: You need outfits are loose to move. That means
no more braless, strapless, FEARless attire.
Prue: Okay, then I have nothing to wear.
Natalie: All right, let's pretend that I'm the enemy.
Prue: Oh that is WAY to easy!
Phoebe: If we don't vanquish Eames, can we at least vanquish
Natalie?
Piper: Don't temp me.
Prue: Something doesn't feel right, this was way too easy.
Phoebe: Or even worse, anticlimatic.
Phoebe: It worked.
Prue: Yeah, nothing anticlimatic about that.
Eames: What the he** are you doing up here?
Phoebe: Kicking your a**.
Piper: Great I'm going to go to my 10 year high school
reunion to win most likely to scare people away at the door.
Leo: So, this is like a costume party?
(Prue shoves Leo)
Piper: I'm this superpowerful witch who's engaged to a
whitelighter, saving the world from evil on a daily freaking basis, and all these people are gonna see is the same pitiful
loser who still lives at home with her sisters and her unemployed boyfriend.
Piper: You'll never greet your husband at the door with
'Honey I think I froze the kids'.
Prue: No, I'll just move them to the next zip code.
Phoebe: But I will see them, find them and bring them home
safely, if only I could ever learn to control my power.
Piper: Opening a can of whoopa**.
Piper: (thinking) Hey she's wearing my lipstick.
Prue: What I can't borrow your lipstick?
Piper: I didn't say that, Prue, I just thought it.
Prue: (thinking) Whatever, just learn to share.
Piper: I heard that. This could be dangerous.
Later...
Prue: (thinking) Great, we're surrounded by warlocks.
Piper: (thinking) Yeah, next time get your own damn lipstick.
Prue: (thinking) I heard that.
Piper: (thinking) I love you.
Prue: (thinking) Bite me.
Piper: Why don't they make a card that says, You used to
be my whitelighter, but now your wings are clipped and your sleeping in my club?
Phoebe: How about: You snooze, you lose and now I'm getting
naked with the neighbor.
(Phoebe's room. Phoebe and Melinda are there as Phoebe
unzips a dress.)
Melinda: No, don't - don't rip the dress to make it fit
me.
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, I'm not ripping it. It's called a zipper,
see?
(Phoebe unzips the dress.)
Melinda: Oh, a wise witch made this.
(Melinda takes the dress off of Phoebe and fiddles with
the zipper.)
Phoebe: Yeah, and wise witches in this century keep a low
profile. You slip the dress on, you'll blend right in.
(Melinda starts putting on the dress.)
Melinda: It's so odd to be here again. To breathe and feel.
What sheep has wool so soft?
Phoebe: A synthetic one.
Melinda: Oh! (Phoebe zips up the dress.) So did it, take
you long to make the dress?
Phoebe: Make it? No, no, I bought it.
(Prue and Piper walk in)
Prue: No, she's got credit cards.
Piper: Oh, wow, Melinda, you look great.
Melinda: Thank you. Oh, but how do you keep your legs warm?
Prue: We drink coffee.
Piper: Wait a minute, and incantation? What kind of incantation?
Phoebe: It said something about three essentials of magic.
Uh, timing, feeling and phases of the moon. If we were ever gonna do this, now - midnight on a full moon - is the most powerful
time.
Piper: This? Do What?
Phoebe: Receive our powers.
Piper: What powers? Wait, our powers? You include me in
this!
Prue: Okay, we've placed the nine candles annoited with
oil and spices in a circle.
Piper: Wait, I only count eight.
Phoebe: Oh you forgot this one. (She holds up a birthday
candle.)
Piper: A birthday candle?
Phoebe: I guess Grams was a little low on witch supplies.
Prue: I am so impressed that you can make a protest statement
and show cleavage all at the same time.
Eva; This doorway would have told us if you were evil.
Piper: Hmm. Where can we get one of those?
Eva: You've made a big clock so small. You must possess
great magic.
Piper: Just a good credit card.
Phoebe: We've been in tougher jams than this.
Piper: We have?
Phoebe: Haven't we?
Piper: Who's gonna deliver the baby?
Phoebe: Uh, personally, I think that you should considering
we know you're going to have one in the future.
Prue; I second that.
Piper: Wait a minute---
Prue. Go, Bye.
Piper: I always get the messy jobs.
